Luis Flores' "NEW" Testimony

{My History: The story of my life and how I became a Christian, and how my life is at the present time}

In order to completely understand me and my life we must go back in time just a little to understand my problems and why they occurred.

I'd say that it all begins (from what I know it to be) with my grandmother (which is my mother's mother).  My grandmother witnessed her mother being murdered by her father.  Her father shot her mother right before her very eyes when she was only at the age of 9 years old.  Before this dramatic event, her grandmother had warned her mother about her father a long time ago, but her mother refused to listen.  Therefore her mother's murder was inevitable.  Unfortunately, when this had happened, her grandmother had to immediately talk responsibility of her siblings and herself.  That was not very pleasant for her, because her grandmother had a lot of built up anger inside, her grandmother was bitter and felt betrayed because she knew that this would happen if her daughter had not listened, and now she is severely disappointed.  Although, the worst has yet to come.  Her grandmother eventually began to resent her (I guess it was because she reminded her of her daughter, since my grandmother was the oldest girl among her other siblings).  Her grandmother greatly mistreated her and abused her in various different ways (so much I could not fully tell nor imagine).  When she became of age, she began to hang out like most young people do, but her grandmother forbid it (I assume it was to protect her, because she did not want to go through the exact same thing with her grand-daughter, nor allow her to have those same problems).  But she went to hang out anyway, it is what young people do.  Then one day while she was going to the club, she met this man, he was very talkative and very flirtatious with his words.  And she began to take kindly to him, but her friends told her otherwise.  They tried to tell her that this man is not for you, he is no good, and many other things, but she ignored them and went on.  Sadly, one day when she came home, her grandmother had placed all of her belongings on the street corner and told her to leave (I believe it was because she did not listen to her grandmother about hanging out, but I feel that it was very harsh because my grandmother was an ordinary young lady).  So she was left with no choice but to leave and stay with a friend.  While she was living with a friend, she would still go to the club as usual, and continually see this man (which was several years older than her).  The friend that she was staying with eventually got uneasy, and told her that you either have to leave this man alone or leave my house.  So she shacked up with that man, and a few months later she had a daughter (out of wedlock, and that woman becomes my mother), then she gets married because of the child and has a son two years later (he is my uncle, he will play a very important role in the future).

Unfortunately my mother had a very complicated life.  Her mother developed severe depression and anxiety because of her past, and her father became a serious alcoholic after the death of his mother (my mother said after the death, her father was extremely miserable and slept on his mother's grave in the cemetery for weeks).  So eventually there would be extreme chaos from then on.  Her mother and father would fight all the time, day in and day out, all throughout her childhood (this damaged my mother and my uncle greatly).  In the future she becomes a productive adult, while her brother began to sink lower and lower at an early age (my mother decided that she would not allow the events of the past to inevitably make her who she will be, but her brother was greatly crushed by those events, and began the path of destruction).  However, just because she became a decent citizen, does not mean that those problems did not follow her, and play a part of making her who she was (my mother was very depressed, but hid it inside).

Now about me, this is entirely my life story.

{The following is an excerpt from a previous testimonial document, but I will add a little more to it in detail so that you may understand}

I'm exceedingly crazy about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I love Him so very much;  I would do anything and everything for Him, I will go so far as say that I will die for Him. He is my God and my Master, I serve NO ONE but HIM; I've dedicated my entire life to serving Him, I have no reason to lie to anyone. I've been redeemed from so much, much of which I dare not mention; For not everyone is
mature enough to handle such things, regardless to say I was like the Late "Mary Magdalene". I'm still a Virgin, and I've
never done drugs or smoked, or drank, or been in jail or prison nor have I ever harmed or killed Anyone; But it's those slight
perverted sins that no one ever talks about in public, I've never physically pursued any of those things or gotten involved with those things. But I have had my thoughts, and lust was in the picture too; I was abused in all the ways except one, and that one was sexually [My mother became an abuser like her mother before her (statistics say that the abused often times become abusers themselves)].

I have seen a few things that small children
should never see that was very perverted, and unfortunately it wasn't of the
opposite sex [One day when I was about the age of 4 or 5, I had stumbled across a pornographic magazine.  Unfortunately, it was not about the opposite sex, I saw two men having oral sex.  I had found this in my uncle's bedroom (you know what they say about people when they go to prison, often times they get raped, and their minds begin to twist and change)]; Satan has been attacking me since 5 years old, to be honest I was not "Mentally Innocent" at the age of 7. Eventhough I was young, that "Old Devil" always found some kind of way to pervert my thoughts; He'll attack you in your dreams, that's where you're
least likely going to be able to defend yourself. In my case, that
was not the only encounter with such images, actually it was the
beginning of a "Cycle of Events"; None of which I could control, I
was too young, so I just went along for the ride. But I've also
had "Revelatory Visions" at an early age as well, I was probably 6
years old when I had received my very first one; So as I got older
I would have both "Visions from God" and "Nasty & Filthy Dreams", I
first began to get the "Night Terrors" and "Perverted Fantasies"
when I became 8 years old. At that time I didn't think much of
them, because it was all I knew; And my parents were never really
Godly people, they had suffered from "Generational Curses" and
unfortunately gave into them and were broken by the pressure. So I
had no really strong Godly influences in my life, but I did have
some "Struggling Christian Relatives"; And they gave me some
background in the Lord God, but my parents didn't visit my relatives
very often. Fortunately the Lord was always with me in some shape
or form, He never allowed me to slip too far; Basically those
experiences took place for a reason, He only allowed me to slide but
so far.
In the midst of all that darkness and evil, the Lord was working
with me, preparing me for something; In the end I finally was no longer subject and a slave to my horrible and terrible past, but the process was not without
pain and suffering, I had to make many sacrifices and many conflicts
arose before I could turn my life around for the better. Although I've been
through so much, I was never able to follow these thoughts nor
actively do those secret things that I wanted to do and had planned,
the Lord God Almighty never allowed me; I guess He never wanted me to be caught up in it, but yet He purposed that I experience these things for
a "Greater Purpose", I never asked for those things to occur
in my life as a child; They revealed themselves to me, I didn't have
a choice in that matter. That's why the Lord said in the Bible
that "many are called, but few are chosen", I was chosen by
God; There is no way in this world that I could be here today if it
weren't for the "Lord God Almighty".

These are the most recent facts, I have been through a lot, and so this will be in addition to my current testimony:

As I've said before, I'm the black sheep of my family, it's always been like the Cinderella Story in my life.

So I did not do well in High School because of stress and low self-esteem.  I had problems from all angles, from my peers (they either thought I was gay or weird), my teachers (they thought I was lazy, because of what my parents told them), and my family (they all believed I was crazy).

So I never finished High School, I had too many problems, and my parents took me out.  After then, I tried other institutions for education, like Job Corps and a community college.  But they didn't work out either, because I still had serious issues within myself and at home, since I remained in their home in the college or with Job Corps, I was too sheltered.

I even tried to flee to live with an Uncle in Florida.  This was last year, he lives in "Kissimmee, Florida", and he works at Disney World.

Unfortunately, I only stayed a week, and was forced to return home.

But I learned a lot from Job Corps and my trip to Florida, and I tried to finish my GED at home with the college.  But things just seemed to get worse and worse, and something needed to be done fast.

Fortunately, I met this real nice elderly Christian lady on the trip to Florida that year, and we kept in touch ever since.

So we'd talk on the phone about my situation, and she would pray for me and give me advice.

Well, it came to a point that I had to escape my house, too much stuff going on.  So I went to visit here.  She wasn't aware that I intended to stay, but she knew my situation well.  Also, I had no intention of her supporting me, I knew that there was a mission ran by her church, so I wanted to stay there.  So the woman allowed me to stay.  I moved to "Jacksonville, Florida" in April of this year.

I stayed with her for a little while and looked for a job, I didn't go the mission right away.  I got a job at McDonald's in no time at all.

Eventually I did go to the mission to stay.

I made myself homeless on purpose.  I left home because things were just bad all the time.  And she helped me get on my feet too, she was like a grandmother to me.

But in order to stay in the mission without income you'd have to stay there without leaving for 60 days, and I mean not leave at all, and they would use that time to minister to you, but I was already a strong Christian, and never had done drugs or drank alcohol.  So that particular program wasn't for me.

So they had a worker's program, in which I would pay rent weekly.

Which was fine, because I had a job, and my parents had me on SSI for 2 years prior.

So I made myself the lowest of the low, I made a sacrifice, and I moved by faith.  Because Ms. Beatrice (that's the woman's name) could only do so much anyways, and I never wanted to be a burden.

So it was okay, things at work were fine, but the management of the mission wasn't the best.

Things were a little difficult there, I stayed there for a while, but the manager was giving me a hard time, because he could not understand "if I'm not an addict or anything, why am I here".  I told him that I left home because of my crazy family.  And I was completely capable of supporting myself once I got enough money to get my own place.

So unfortunately he was cold and insensitive, which was amazing in a mission being ran by a church.

He just couldn't figure me out, by me being young and able, he assumed that I was lazy and naive.

But I did learn a lot from my experiences there.  Here's is one example:

One of my managers at McDonald's had to take me home oneday, and as we where riding, I was telling her why I was in Jacksonville, and about my life and my crazy family.

Well her response to all of it was basically;  I cannot blame my parents for whatever happened, and I should be my own man, and I'm responsible for everything, I control how things will turn out, and my family has nothing to do with it (in so many words).

Well, at first she seemed very mean and not caring, but from a worldly point of view she was being real (herself not being a Christian).

And then all of a sudden something clicked in my mind.  Here is what I gathered something from our conversation ...

I began to realize that she would not be driving me home and telling me all of this unless she indeed cared.  It was her point of view, and she was not obligated to me at all.  So she could have just not gotten involved when I needed a ride and left me alone, or not have spent the time to tell me all of these things, because in the real world people are very cold.

So I realized that it was the exact same thing with my parents, though they gave me a very hard time, they could have gotten rid of me a long time ago (me being older than 18).

So I wanted to visit home and share my findings with my parents in person, because I knew that if I had tried to explain all of this over the phone, I would have not gotten the full opportunity to share everything, they would have cut me off or not taken me seriously.

So I told the manager of the mission that I wanted to take a trip home, but he would not allow me.  He said that it is policy that no one may stay anywhere overnight other than there.  But I was no addict, that is what the policy is for, to prevent them from getting back on their addictions.  But he would make no exceptions, he just would not bend.  Which was very unreasonable, I was paying rent and should be allowed to do what I pleased.  Taking into consider that I did not come there seeking help for my addictions, I was just homeless.

But a friend in the mission told me that people have been known to just leave, and then get back in.  But you have to start the process over again.  So I decided to go ahead and leave, and then return as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, once I had returned to the mission after my trip, the manager refused to accept me back in again.  He felt that I was irresponsible, and said that I should do the 60 day program, because he thought that I seriously needed some training.  And he believed that I was spoiled and needed to grow up and wake up.

So in the end I `returned home' to "Fayetteville, North Carolina", and said `good bye' to my life in "Jacksonville, Florida".  I came back in June, because financially I could not get an apartment and support myself without needing someone's help.  And I did not want to be a burden upon Ms. Beatrice.

But all was not in vain, for God has taught me a lot.  He took care of me there.  He didn't leave me in the desert alone.  And though I am currently home, I've grown a lot from my experiences, and I'll never be the same again.  So I am a different person, I'm a lot wiser now, and a lot stronger now.  And things in my home have changed completely, because I have changed completely.  Life is good, because God makes it good and new everyday.  I am a "living testimony" to God's Love, Power, and Grace.  To God belongs all of the "Glory". 

And it's not over, He is continually blessing me.  My past can no longer hurt me, and my entire life will "never" be the same.  It has all changed for the better.  I can only go up from here!

And that's it, and I will tell you about the good things that God has done for me since then and the recent things as they come (when time permits me).  I love you all, God Bless!

Amen